"Learn To Say No…So You Can Say A Bigger Yes To Life!"

Difficult People Will Teach You How To Build Your Boundaries

By Bo Sanchez

If you’re an approval addict or people-pleaser like me, I’m writing this especially to you.

You see, I’m a person who didn’t like saying “No”. For the longest time, that word wasn’t even in my vocabulary. For years, I never showed my anger to anyone. After years of smiling even if I was offended, there came a point when I didn’t even feel anger anymore. I simply shut it out of my life. (Believe me, I thought I was very holy because of this. Not realizing I was emotionally a mess deep within.)

I had an approval addiction so powerful, it ruled every decision I made.

Why? Because I was desperate for people to like me. When someone didn’t like me, I died within. I didn’t love myself. I had an abysmal low-self worth. So I tried to please everyone in everyway. I abhorred any kind of conflict.

Oh yes, I was a mess. And one of the ways of making them love me was to always say “Yes.”

I never knew that saying “Yes” all the time was actually saying “No” to an abundant life. So I tolerated all the difficult people and emotional vampires on the planet: Control-Freaks. Drama-Queens. Nut-Cases. Rage-aholics. Irresponsible Jerks. Hyper-sensitive people. Possessive Parasites.

You name the difficult person, I pleased each one of them—just to keep the peace.

But the false peace came with a price: I was throwing away myinner peace. My self-respect. My self-worth.

Let me tell you one story…

Build Your Boundaries—
So You Could Welcome People As Guests Through The Gate,
Not Thieves That Run Amok Through Your Life

Billy (not his real name) was a friend who invited me to become a business partner in one of his ventures. But he had a weakness: He was a controller. He wanted to control me. He wanted to control everyone. The sun and moon and stars included.

For a while, I lived with it. I chalked it up as one of those inconveniences of life, lumped up with Manila traffic, the humidity of the Philippines, and my allergies to shrimp. But it was incredibly stressful working with Billy. I didn’t want to admit it.

“But he’s my friend,” I told myself every time I felt stressed out.

I was in denial. My approval addiction was blinding me to the fact that working with him was driving me nuts.

But one day, I had to say “No” and build my personal boundaries. I allowed him to stomp over my fences many times. I had to repair my boundaries and protect myself. It was painful, but I knew there was only one way out.

So one day, I told Billy that though I wanted to remain friends, I wanted to get out of our business partnership. That wasn’t acceptable to him. So ever since that day, he never spoke to me again.

It was painful because our friendship ended. But I immediately knew I did the right thing because of the inner peace I felt that day. My approval addiction was defanged. For the first time in a long while, I created a conflict. By respecting myself and my boundary lines, I was growing in self-power.

That day, I finally loved myself.

Today, my relationships are richer. Because my boundaries are whole, people who come into my life are welcomed guests who pass through the gate (I deliberately opened it for them), not thieves that run amok through my life.

When you say “No” at the right situations, you’re saying a bigger “Yes” to life.

Truth: People Will Do What You Tolerate

So let me ask you this question: Are there people in your life who you should be saying “No” to? Are there difficult people in your life who have been gate-crashing and running amok in your life?

Remember: You teach people how to treat you. If that person is abusing you, or breaking your boundaries, that means you taught that person that it was okay to do so. You tolerated it. And people will do what you tolerate.

The solution may not be to end the relationship (though sometimes, it is the solution), but to simply say “No” at the specific situations where the person is crossing your boundary lines.

Reclaim your self. Don’t allow people to trash you.

God loves you. God created you as His child. God wants you to be happy. So be happy.

May your dreams come true,

Bo Sanchez

Do You Have a Difficult Person in Your Life?

By Bo Sanchez

“Lord, help me to bless people today.”

That’s my daily morning prayer… uh, when I’m happy. And usually, I am. But once in awhile,

I don’t wake up happy. And usually, it’s because of a difficult person in my life.

That’s when I pray, “Lord, how can I bless this… this… this… creature?”

I’m a very patient person, so this doesn’t happen too often. But it happens.

Friend, do you have a difficult person in your life? And do you sometimes want to pray, “Lord, if you will allow it, let a 50,000 megawatt bolt of lightning strike (Name of Difficult Person) right now. Not to kill him, Lord. Just enough to wake him up and give him second degree burns. Just kidding Lord, but with all due respect, what were you thinking when you created this pathological human being? I don’t want to sound offensive, but were you sleeping on the job when you created this creature? He’s a mess. He’s a composite of all the villains of Spiderman put together….”

Do you sometimes wonder if this difficult person heard God in the middle of the night say, “My child, your ultimate mission in life is to be difficult. That’s the entire purpose of your existence. You shall be the thorn in someone’s flesh. Do everything in your power to annoy him. Be irresponsible. Or be demanding. Or be totally negative. Or be selfish. Or be constantly angry. Or be possessive. Or be always depressed. It doesn’t matter. Your objective is to make his life hell on earth.”

Yes, I must admit that I don’t like a few unlovable characters here and there, but generally, I think the Almighty has done a fantastic job inventing human beings. I also believe that God allows difficult people to come into our lives to give us very special gifts. What could these gifts be?

I’m going to try something new today. Instead of writing down what these gifts are, I’m going to ask YOU to write them on the comments below. Write your thoughts and experiences and share them to the world. Thousands will be reading them.

And in my next email next week, I’ll tell you what I think they are…

Cool? Thank you!

May your dreams come true,

Bo Sanchez

Awaken The Giant Within You

Your True Size Is Measured By Your Courage, Wisdom, and Love.
By Bo Sanchez


Editor's note: Bo Sanchez kicks off his 2008 US/Canada preaching ministry tour on May 8, 2008 in Concord, CA. Catch him at one of his preaching events at a city near you. Click here to view his May 2008 tour schedule.

Even as a baby elephant, Bulig was big. As Bulig grew up, he was taller and bigger than all his playmates. It didn’t take long for the other elephant to be afraid of him. And Bulig knew this. So he used his size to terrify others to do what he wanted them to do.

He’d snort and growl as he’d say, “I’ll crush you!” It was his usual greeting to anyone he met on the road. Obviously, if the other elephants were scared of Bulig, the other smaller animals would be as well. Monkeys, deers, tigers, and even lions stood in awe at the huge animal.

The elephants gave him a special home on top of a small hill. And Bulig’s throne was a gigantic bed. There he lay down and lorded it over the jungle.

Each morning, the elephants would give him a basketful of bananas. And the monkeys would give him a basketful of apples. And the deer would give him a basketful of nuts. This happened everyday.

So Bulig grew even bigger. And the more he grew, the more terrified the animals became of him. He now became a god to all the animals there. A group of pelicans took turns fanning him. A group of parakeets sang to him in the morning. A group of monkey acrobats performed for his evening entertainment.

For the longest time, Bulig never much left his home. In fact, for years, he didn’t even stand up from his giant bed. All he really did was snort and growl once in awhile, “I will crush you!” And every time he said it, all the animals would be terrified.

Because he didn’t move much, he became as fat as ten elephants put together!

Now, even other animals from other jungles would visit to see for themselves if the Legend of the Giant Elephant was true. And all of them would stand in terror at the sight of the great beast.

One of those animals was a tiny turtle by the name Pokito. Pokito heard about this Elephant and wanted to see him. Being a young and playful turtle, he thought it would be great to be friends with the giant elephant.

So one day, he walked up to Bulig who was like a mountain compared to Pokito. But Pokito wasn’t afraid.

He said, “Hi great Bulig! Can I be your friend?”

All the animals around Bulig gasped in horror. Who dared speak to Bulig in that way? Does he know what he was saying? Poor turtle!

Bulig was insulted that a little creature was not worshipping him as a god. So he snorted and growled his usual growl and said, “I will crush you!”

But Pokito was a wise turtle. He saw that behind Bulig’s size was great weakness. He felt pity for him.

So he simply said, “Bulig, I just want to be your friend. If you don’t want to, that’s fine. I’ll just go on my merry way…”

As he turned around, Bulig got even angrier and snorted and growled again and said in a bigger voice, “I WILL CRUSH YOU!”

All the animals scampered behind bushes, rocks, and trees. It was the first time they heard Bulig this angry.

Pokito turned around to face the giant again and said calmly, “Bulig, I wouldn’t do that if I were you. You might hurt yourself…”

Bulig’s face turned red as a fire truck. He stood up. Or at least tried to. Remember, it has been years since he even stood up!

“Ummph… Ummmph…. Ummmmmmmph!” Bulig struggled and struggled but couldn’t stand up!

“Bulig, please don’t do that…” Pokito said.

All the animals left their hiding places. They were totally shocked to see their god having difficulty standing up! Finally, Bulig’s legs folded and he came crashing to the ground. Whaaam! Bulig was now in pain, but his humiliation was even greater than any physical pain he was feeling at that moment.

First, a little monkey began to jeer. Soon, other monkeys joined him. And after awhile, all the animals began to ridicule Bulig. They taunted him and called him names.

“Weakling!”, “Fatso!”, and “Blubberhouse!”

That was when Pokito screamed, “Stooooooooop it!”

Everyone hushed at the brave turtle in front of them. “For years, you worshipped Bulig as a god,” Pokito said, “but now, you’re insulting him as the enemy. Why are you doing that? Bulig is just one of us, just like any other animal.”

Pokito marched to the embarrassed, whimpering Bulig and said, “Do you need help to stand up?” Sheepishly, Bulig nodded his head.

The turtle turned to the other elephants, “Help your friend stand up.” The other elephants were astounded by the wisdom of the little turtle. All of them went beside the giant, and together, pushed him up. With great effort, the huge elephant stood up.

With his knees still trembling, Bulig smiled at the turtle and quietly said, “Thank you. You are the real giant.”

Pokito smiled. “Thank you.”

Bulig asked, “Can you be my friend?”

The turtle said, “On one condition. You have to join me in jogging every morning.”

He winked. And all the animals broke out in laughter.


7 Lessons for Life

I wrote this little story for Mustard, our children’s magazine. (Why Mustard? From mustard seed! If you want to subscribe and get 10 fun-filled issues for your kids, log on at www.shepherdsvoice.com.ph ) But the powerful lessons in the story aren’t for children only. In fact, I believe adults need to hear them more than kids do!

Here are the 7 life-changing lessons from the story:

Lesson #1:

Don’t look for worshippers; Look for true friends instead.

Not all friends are created equal. Some friends are just fans. They admire you. They flatter you. They fear you. They benefit from you. But when you need them, they’re not there. Choose true friends over fans anytime. When you have a problem, they’ll stick there by your side.

Lesson #2:

The best way to look for a true friend is to be one.

Are you a true friend? Do you care for people? Do you go out of your way to express your love for them? The best investment you’ll ever make will be in your relationships. There lies your true gold.

Lesson #3:

Bullies are weak.

Avoid them or face up to them, but never be afraid of them. Do you have bullies in your life? You’ll always cross paths with bullies. Bullies intimidate people. Bullies want you to fear them. They manipulate you to follow them. Depending on the situation, you can avoid them or face up to them. But never be afraid of bullies. Because all bullies are fake. With their outward force, they cover up their weakness. But deep within, a bully is a fragile child with lots of fears.

Lesson #4:

When someone doesn’t like to be your friend, just walk off and go on your merry way.

Life is too beautiful to be sad at one person’s rejection. People-pleasers want to please everyone. And when one person rejects them, they die within. Because people-pleasers need to be needed. When a person rejects them, they get hurt deeply—and carry this hurt wherever they go and allow this hurt to affect their lives forever. What does a mature person do when they receive rejection? They get hurt like everyone else but they don’t carry the hurt. They shake the dust of their feet and move on. They love themselves. They love life.

Lesson #5:

When someone is angry with you in an unjust way, pity that person.

He will be hurting himself. Don’t pity yourself when you suffer unjust anger. Remember that unjust anger destroys the person who is angry, not you. Pity him.

Lesson #6:

Always be good and kind to everyone— whether he be a king or a beggar.

Every human being you meet in life is God’s child. Whether he sits on a throne or lies on the mud, it makes no difference. That person is your family.

Lesson #7:

Your true size is measured by your courage, wisdom, and love.

Are you a big person? Measure your courage and wisdom. By how you love, you shall know whether you have matured in life or not.

May your dreams come true,
Bo Sanchez


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Do You Have An Unrealistic Dream?

If you don’t have one, get one–Quick!

By Bo Sanchez

I got interviewed again. A number of times, in fact.

This time, the questions were focused on dreaming big dreams. So I’m putting together a bunch of questions and answers from these interviews. I know they will inspire you. And make you laugh at the same time. Because of so many interviews, giving crazy answers keeps me sane. Enjoy!

Q: How many brothers and sisters do you have?

Bo: I have 5 older sisters. I’m the only boy.

Q: Your father must have been very happy when you were born.

Bo: When I was born, my father almost named me Atlas. Because when he learned that I was a boy, he shouted, “At last!” I mean, after five failed attempts, yes, he was happy. I’m also the youngest of the family. Can you imagine my suffering? I was their slave. They told me to do everything for them. From answering the door to buying Coke. As a little boy, I had pet spiders. My favorite daydream had the makings of a Hollywood movie. Because of a UFO invasion, my pet spiders mutated into giant monsters. My sisters got trapped in their spiders’ web and, well, you can guess how the story ended.

Q: Describe your family today.

Bo: Today, all my sisters serve in the ministry with me. We’re a great team. Three of them work full-time in the ministry, while two help out part-time. Now, they follow what I tell them to do. Haha.

Q: Your parents?

Bo: My Dad passed away last year. My mother, at 82, continues to serve the Lord with me.

Q: And you have your own family…

Bo: Ten years ago, I married the most gorgeous girl in the galaxy, a woman named Marowe. We have two fantastic, nuclear-powered, gravity-defying boys, Benedict, age 8, and Francis, 3. We homeschool our kids and have a great time doing that—because we spend more time with them. Instead of just opening textbooks, we make them experience the world. Instead of reading a book on business, Bene operates one. Instead of studying about music, Bene performs a small concert. (Bo’s Note: Homeschooling isn’t for everyone. But you owe it to yourself to find out more about it and consider if it is for you. If you want to know more about homeschooling, click at www.catholicfilipinoacademy.com now.)

Q: What are your dreams?

Bo: I wrote all my dreams in a Dreambook. It’s a 15-page document. Let me share with you my most important dreams. Before I got married, I wrote that I want to be the greatest husband my wife can ever have. I believe in making dreams graphic, so I wrote in details. I wrote that I’d kiss my wife 7 times a day. For the past ten years now, I’ve been doing that. Even when I don’t feel like it. Haha. Seriously, I have a great marriage. Because I work hard for it. I invest my energy and time to make it a great marriage. I also wrote on that Dreambook that I’d be the greatest father my kids can ever have. I wrote there that I’d play with them everyday no matter how busy I get. And that’s what I do today.

Q: Did you ever dream of becoming a preacher?

Bo: When I was 12, I had a “daydream”. I woke up and saw myself preaching in the Araneta Coliseum in front of 20 thousand people. I don’t know if it was a dream, a daydream, or a vision. Because I liked what I saw and I continued to imagine this. By age 16, I preached in the Araneta Coliseum for the first time.

Q: What were your other dreams?

Bo: My mission in life is to communicate God’s Love. And I do this primarily by being a preacher and writer. In my Dreambook, I wrote that I’d be a bestselling author and have my own TV and Radio show. I also wrote that I would have my own ministry for the poor built on a huge place, where I would welcome the poorest of the poor. All these have taken place. God is good.

Q: Was it always easy to fulfill your dreams?

Bo: Absolutely not. Many times, I felt so discouraged. Frustrated. A few times, I even wanted to throw in the towel and give up. But all these years, I’ve never doubted my Call. I’ve always believed that God has called me to communicate His love. Why? Because He gave me the gift. And the ministry has been blessing many.

Q: How do you fulfill your dreams?

Bo: First of all, I chose the right dreams. I write big, hairy, audacious, and unrealistic dreams. In my life, I’ve realized that I accomplish my unrealistic dreams much more than my realistic ones. Let me tell you why. Unrealistic dreams shock my system and pump my heart. Unrealistic dreams force me to think creatively, demanding me to do things I’ve never done before. On the other hand, realistic dreams make me complacent. They put me to sleep.

Q: What’s the second step?

Bo: I read and pray my list of dreams everyday. I do this for both my long term and short term dreams. Like each morning, I visualize how I want that day to play out. I imagine what I want to accomplish, and what results will take place. This is my prayer. And my dreams happen. I believe in this practice so much. We don’t know how powerful we are.

Q: What’s the third step?

Bo: Once I have a dream, I create a strategy to make it happen. 100% of the time, this includes creating a dream team around me that will make it happen. And then I pursue the dream, no matter how many failures happen.

Q: Fourth step?

Bo: I spend time with people who already have achieved these same dreams. I make them my mentors. This step is crucial. Do avoid spend too much time with people who have no dreams. Or with people who don’t believe in my dreams. These are dream-killers.

Q: Who is Bo Sanchez now?

Bo: I’m a child of God. I’m a servant of the poor. I’m a husband, father, son, brother, friend, preacher, writer, leader, businessman, philanthropist, and pioneer.

Q: How do you see yourself 10 more years from now?

Bo: One of my fondest dreams is to equip our growing community with the tools necessary to help more poor people around them. Not through a charity model—because that is limited—but through the entrepreneurial model. Here’s one of my big dreams: In my lifetime, I want to raise one million micro-entrepreneurs among the poor. To gain support, I want to have one million KerygmaFamily.com members. (Note: You’re my dream team! Without you, I can’t do it. Sign up now at www.kerygmafamily.com and lets work together!)

Q: Thank you very much.

Bo: My pleasure.

That’s the end of the interview.

May I make a suggestion?

Aside from writing your dreams in your own Dreambook, write one or two dreams in the comments section below. Remember to make it unrealistic. Announce your dream to the world. Doing so will give you added motivation to achieve them.

May your dreams come true, Bo Sanchez

I Still Date My Ex-Girlfriend

By Bo Sanchez

Call Me Crazy, But She Still Makes My Heart Go Pumpity-Pump After ten years of marriage, I’m still crazy for this woman. Being with her is my little piece of heaven on earth.

Here’s my proof: So far, I’ve had 508 romantic dates with my wife. (Yes, my wife. What were you thinking? She’s my ex-girlfriend, right?) That’s once per week for almost 10 beautiful years. And I’ve loved every single one of them.

Our date night is sacred. Unless it’s an invitation from the President of the Republic, I say no to all invitations and meetings. Our marriage is what it is today because of those precious 508 dates.

Call me corny. Call me deluded. Call me in denial. But I really love being with her.

By the way, did you know my wife has magical powers? When I’m with her, she drains my stress away. When I’m going through a rough time, all I have to do is share my problems to her, and instantly, I feel so much better.

With her, I’m at home. And I rest.

I believe couples need to connect with each other in a deep way, or they will drift apart and look for attachments elsewhere. Aside from our weekly dates, I grab special times I call “spontaneous moments of connection”.

Spontaneous Moments Of Connection

Yesterday afternoon, I came home ready to dive into my work. The usual stuff I do: articles to write, talks to prepare, meetings to plan… But when I came home, I saw this lovely woman sitting on the couch all by herself.

I thought to myself, “Work can wait,” and I grabbed this opportunity to sit beside the greatest girl on the galaxy. It wasn’t planned. But we were able to talk and connect our hearts. Even just for a few minutes.

Life offers us these fantastic times of bonding. I’ve learned not to miss them: Being stuck in traffic with her. Or waiting for the dentist. Or lining up in the grocery. These times don’t have to be boring if you hold hands and talk.

How To Have A Great Marriage

One day, a young husband came up to me and said, “Bo, I wish my marriage will be as great as yours ten years from now…”

I only had one word for him: “Don’t wish. Decide.”

In that one line, I gave my secret to success. That’s what separates great marriages and not-so-great marriages. That’s what separates successful people from unsuccessful people. Unsuccessful people wish, want, hope, desire for their dreams. That’s not enough. Successful people decide to make their dreams happen. Period.

That means they’ll do whatever it takes. Nothing will stop them. Failure is not an option. Let me ask you: Will you do whatever it takes? For me as a husband, it means…

o practicing “mental” monogamy

o overlooking her faults

o going out of my way to express my love

o prioritizing our dates o leading my family to God

Note: Just in case you’re in the delusion that I’m a perfect husband, let me make this record straight. I’m far from it. Just ask my wife! But the important thing is that I’ve decided to become a great husband. And I make that decision everyday. (I struggle towards this dream everyday!)

I’ve realized that this power of decision works in every other area in life…

How To Be A Success In Anything

I’ve also decided to be a financial success. No ifs, no buts, no excuses. I’ll do everything it takes. For me, that means sticking to my core gifts, getting wise mentors, reinventing myself, creating a dream team around me, and focusing on loving my customers.

I’ve also decided to be a spiritual person. That means opening myself to God’s love, walking with integrity, and pursuing my ultimate mission of loving others.

I’ve also decided to be a healthy person. That means going to the gym daily, eating veggies and fruits, taking supplements, and living with balance.

Don’t Wish. Decide.

“But Bo, I’ve already decided to be a success! But I guess my decision wasn’t strong enough…”

Then that means you haven’t really decided yet. You’ve just wished. If you remain in the level of wish, nothing happens. You must go to the level of decision.

I’m reminded of this Chinese General who invaded an island. Upon landing on the shore, he asked his soldiers to burn their own boats. Obviously, they were shocked.

When asked why would they do this insane act of burning their own boats, he said, “We’ll leave this island either as Victors or as dead men. Escape is not an option.”

That’s a decision. And that’s the kind of decision that will make you succeed in anything.

May your dreams come true,

Bo Sanchez

6 Strategies On How To Be Positive In A Negative World

Chiqui Lara attracts blessings—and you can too!
By Bo Sanchez

I didn’t know what to expect.

I read the message in my cellphone.

“Ms. Chiqui Lara, 7:30am, Hotel Intercon.”

I was about to have breakfast with the President and CEO of a company, part of a multinational based in London.

My imagination was playing on me.

I pictured this lady President to be a tall, imposing, sophisticated woman in a dark suit, high heels, and leather briefcase.

I was surprised when in walked a woman who was probably not more than 5’2 (I think), wearing a simple white blouse, black pants, and a gentle smile. No make-up. No jewelry. No briefcase.

She came up to me and extended her hand. (No nail polish either.)

Immediately, I sensed something special about this woman.

Was it inner peace?

I later learned why.

Two years ago, Chiqui was diagnosed to have cancer.

“Double primary cancer to be exact,” she said. That meant two cancerous tumors were growing on her ovaries and her uterus at the same time.

Everyone expected to see a devastated woman.

Instead, it was during those trying times that people saw how incredibly positive Chiqui was.

I had tears in my eyes (which I wiped whenever she wasn’t looking) listening to her recount how her family and friends loved her at her hour of need. “Bo, I was surrounded with so much love!”

Today, the cancer is gone.

I asked her, “Chiqui, what made you such a positive person?”

“My family,” she smiled. “I received so much love from them.”

She gave a powerful example of that love.

“Many Christmases ago, an orphanage had a program called Share-A-Home. Just for the Christmas holidays, my parents agreed to have two orphans, twin boys, ages one and a half. But after the week was over, my mother didn’t return them to the orphanage. The twins were supposed to stay with us for a week. They have stayed with us for the past 25 years.”

She also told me of another moving story.

“My father passed away at the age of 72. At the last day of the funeral, his other family appeared. A woman and three kids…”

“Oh no…” I said.

“Yes. We were so shocked.” “No one knew at all?” I asked.

“No one knew. My father always went home everyday. So when his other family appeared, I remember talking to my mother and asking her, ‘What are we going to do?’ My mother simply said, ‘I’ve forgiven him already.’”

My jaw dropped.

“Yes,” Chiqui said, “That’s the kind of mother I had. She had so much love to give. Now you know why I am who I am.”

“Amen.”

“I’m very blessed, Bo. I really am.”

At the age of 32, she was already made a President of a huge advertising company, and later, as Vice Chairman.

Today, she is the President and CEO of a fantastic company, Y&R Philippines, part of a humongous multinational company that’s 60 years old.

In my terminology, Chiqui is a “Blessing Magnet”.

Why? Because she attracts blessings by the way she thinks, feels, believes, and acts.

Here are 6 strategies on how you can be a blessing-magnet, and be positive in a negative world:

1. Feel the love. Receive the love from the people around you, no matter how small or imperfect. Celebrate every little gesture of love you receive. Make it a big thing! And you’ll discover that you’ll receive more and more love.

2. Be grateful. Give thanks for every small blessing you receive. Before going to sleep, count at least 5 blessings you received on that day. Be grateful even for the bad things, knowing there’s a blessing inside. Gratitude attracts more blessings to come your way. (Note: Attract more blessings by joining Bo’s weekly FEAST every Sunday at Valle Verde, 7:30am or 10am, and learn how to trust God more. Or attend any of our Local FEASTs happening all over the world—with Bo preaching to the crowd each week via video. Email chelle.crisanto@gmail.com for details.)

3. Trust. Yes, do all you possibly can! But at the end of the day, stop worrying. Surrender and trust God instead. Believe that the best is yet to come.

4. Have a vision. When you have a detailed, graphic, exciting vision burning in your heart, you can’t help but be positive. And here’s my true-to-life experience: That powerful vision in your imagination will attract all the blessings you need to fulfill that vision. You’ll be surprised. The blessings will just come, rolling down at your feet, begging that you receive them.

5. Love yourself. Be deliberate in loving yourself. Respect yourself. Don’t belittle yourself, don’t limit yourself, and don’t call yourself derogatory names. Meet your needs. Aggressively care for yourself. When you do, others will respect you, love you, and meet your needs as well. (Note: Join Bo Sanchez’ www.kerygmafamily.com and get a mountain load of spiritual nourishment for FREE! Have Kerygma magazine and his latest spiritual books mailed to your home for FREE when you become a partner of Bo’s ministry. Log on there now!)

6. Love others. Whatever love you give, you receive it back multiplied. So wake up each morning because you want to love. Make love the purpose of your life. When you make love the reason for every thing that you do, even if there are dark storm clouds around you, the sun will always shine in your heart. (Note: Do you want love others by starting a weekly Local FEAST and have Bo Sanchez preach via video to your parish, office, school, or neighborhood? We’ll support you. For more details, email chelle.crisanto@gmail.com now.)

May your dreams come true,

Bo Sanchez

Allow Love To Heal You

You’re God’s Very Own
By Bo Sanchez

Let me share with you a story that blessed me deeply. I read it from the Chicken Soup series,but let me paraphrase it for you here.

One day, Abbie, a social worker, received a call from an orphanage.

Could she find foster parents for a particular baby, they asked.

Abbie visited the orphanage and saw a cute little baby standing on the crib. The baby smiled at her and she smiled back. When she knelt down in front of the infant, it was only then when she discovered that the baby had no arms. The person in charge of the orphanage asked Abbie, “Do you think there’ll be parents who would want this child?”

For the next four months, there were many couples that visited that orphanage, looking for a child. But no one wanted Baby Freddie.

One day, Abbie got a call from a Mr. and Mrs. Pearson. They said they wanted to adapt a child. She paid them a visit.

“We don’t have much money, but we have much love to give,” the couple said.

“Any preferences?” Abbie asked.

“A boy,” Mrs. Pearson said, “my husband will play basketball with him. He’ll be good for a boy.

How long will it take before we can adapt a baby?” Mrs. Pearson asked.

“Well, perhaps in a year,” Abbie said.

“Isn’t there a baby we can adapt now?” Mr. Pearson asked.

Abbie sighed. She opened her bag and pulled out the photo of Baby Freddie.

“He’s an adorable child,” she said, “except that he has no arms.”

The couple looked at the photo for a long time.

It was Mr. Pearson who spoke first. “What do you think?” he asked his wife.

“Football,” she said, “He can play football with you.”

“Sports isn’t really that important,” he said.

“No, it is. A boy needs to have a sport.”

They kept on talking as if Abbie wasn’t around.

Finally, Abbie interrupted, “Do you want the baby?”

Mrs. Pearson said, “Want? Want the baby? Abbie, you don’t understand. This baby is ours!”

Abbie brought Mr. and Mrs. Pearson to the orphanage.

She presented Baby Freddie to them. And Mr. and Mrs. Pearson saw him, rushed to him, and embraced their son in their arms.

He Sees You Differently

I’ve met a lot of people who believe they’re like Freddie.

Do you feel defective? Deformed? Lacking?

Deep within you, you think that you’re not normal. That there’s something wrong with you.

Well, God doesn’t agree.

He’s like Mr. and Mrs. Pearson.

He doesn’t think you’re defective at all.

He says, “You’re mine. You’re my child.”

Today, allow God to embrace you.

And in that embrace, be healed.

I remain your friend,
Bo Sanchez

The Best Is Yet To Come!

A Wife Of A Jobless Husband Shares Her Story of Waiting…

By Bo Sanchez

I’m taking a break from my teaching series on “Getting Rid of Hidden Addictions.” (I’ll give the next article next week.) Let me pause to take a breather and share with you a beautiful story. I met Yane Pe Benito when I gave a talk at her company, Pioneer Insurance. Yane is a lovely woman with such an amazing story to tell, I decided to share it to the world.

Two years ago, Yane’s husband, Beni, without warning, lost his job. It was doubly painful because it was a great job. For 6 years, Beni enjoyed working in a multinational distribution company for skincare products. But because of a reorganization that happened in the company (which is happening in many companies nowadays), he was “redundated”.

Yane decided to tell her two small children, Gabriel (then age 6), and Marga (then age 4) about the sad news, carefully choosing the words she’d use to put it to them. “Kids, we have to take better care of our things… and not waste our money because …Daddy doesn’t have a job anymore.”

Little Gabriel said, “You mean Daddy was fired?” Yane was surprised at the bluntness of his words. “Now where did you learn that word?!” Her son said matter-of-factly, “From Peter Parker - Spiderman.”

But yes, redundated was just a fancy word for “Get out, we don’t need you here anymore.”

Losing a job is always painful, even if it goes with a “separation pay” or a “redundancy package”.

While Yane was thankful for the windfall, part of her was anxious, wondering how long their family was going to have to live off the separation package.

The first few months were OK; Beni got an average of two invitations per week to come for interview. But as the months stretched to a year — and then more, the invitations got fewer and far between.

During the almost two years of her husband’s joblessness, Yane was going through her own anxiety. As a mother to two growing schoolchildren, she saw their savings getting smaller. (As a contingency measure, she moved out of her 8-yr old job to accept a higher-paying one.)

But aside from the dwindling funds, she was also worried about Beni’s self-esteem. It wasn’t that he wasn’t trying; it was apparent thatthere just weren’t enough job opportunities for middle-aged men with his background and experience. There were actually two jobs that he accepted, but both were short-lived. Call it a conflict of personalities or a clash of styles, but he couldn’t see himself working there long-term. Anguished, Beni would walk out the door again.

And their marriage started to suffer too, since she was the one who was now earning for the family. “Will my husband’s ego take this for long?” she asked herself many, many times. As each month passed, she was getting more and more worried for Beni.

Yane began questioning God, “Lord, I don’t understand what else you’re trying to teach us! How else should we pray? What else should we pray for?”

That was when Yane realized that their prayer had to be more specific.

So she gathered her two kids around her and said, “Let’s pray for Daddy, that he would find a good job with a good boss – someone like his first boss in his former company.”

And so that became the family’s specific prayer. “Lord, please help Daddy get a boss that is as good and kind as his first boss in his old company, in Jesus name.”

One day, about a year ago from today, Yane came home from work and saw the kids and her husband in a huddle.

“What’s all this about?” she asked.

She heard her kids whisper excitedly, “Show it to her now!”

Beni handed her a brown envelop.

Yane thought it was something from the kids’ school.

But no. As she slowly pulled out the paper from the envelope, she read the name of a company…then her husband’s job title… then his salary… At these, she merely nodded in satisfaction.
But when she got to the bottom of the paper, she was shocked. For there was a signature. It was that of Beni’s favourite boss!

To her kids’ astonishment, Yane began to cry and laugh at the same time. She could hardly believe it! Like a child, she jumped up and down with joy, much to the kids’ amusement who jumped and laughed along with her.

Gabriel asked his mother, “Mom, why are you crying and laughing at the same time?”

Yane saw a great opportunity to explain, “I’m crying because I’m so happy, son. Remember how you prayed for a good boss for Daddy? Look at this name,” she pointed to the paper she was holding. “We were merely asking for a boss that would be like Daddy’s old boss. But no, God gave your Daddy exactly the same boss! He answered our prayers!”

That was when Gabriel began to sob.

“Why are you crying?” Yane asked.

“Because I’m so happy too,” the little boy said, as the entire family embraced each other.

When Yane shared me this story, I knew I had to share it with you.

Because all of us go through many hardships and losses.

We lose our jobs, we lose our loved ones, we lose our money, we lose our friends… And sometimes, we wait and wait for the pain to go away, for the loss to be recovered. Sometimes, we wait for a long time. (Yane and Beni had to wait for two long years.)

But in the end, I believe that God has prepared the very best blessing for you.

Have faith. Trust. The best is yet to come!

I remain your friend,

Bo Sanchez

How To Get Rid Of Bad Habits Now! Discover What You Really Need

Do you have a hidden addiction that is stealing your life away?

By Bo Sanchez

Have you heard of the great Houdini?

As a young boy, I loved reading about him. Houdini was probably the most famous escape artist in the world. I’m not sure if the story I’m about to tell you is part legend and part history, but I find it utterly fascinating.

Houdini boasted he could escape any jail cell in less than an hour. One day, a small town in the British Isles built a new jail cell and they were proud of it. “Come give us a try,” they said to Houdini, and he agreed.

He walked into the prison cell bristling with confidence. After all, he had done this hundreds of times before.

Once the jail cell was closed, Houdini took off his coat and went to work. From his belt, he got a flexible but tough ten-inch piece of steel. He knelt in front of the door and started working on the lock.

At the end of 30 minutes, his confident expression had disappeared. At the end of an hour, he was drenched with perspiration.

After two hours and totally exhausted, Houdini literally collapsed against the door. And the force of his weight was enough to push the door open!

Because in reality, the door had never been locked. It was locked only in one place: In his own mind. This meant only one thing. It was firmly locked. Because whatever your mind says is locked—is locked.

Even if it isn’t.

You Can Be Free!

Friend, you can get rid of your bad habits.

You can be free from your addictions.

The Bible says, you have been called to live in freedom.

I should know. I’m a recovering sex addict—jailed in compulsive pornography and sexual fantasies for years. Yes, even as I was serving God and preaching. Like Houdini, I tinkered with the “lock” of my jail cell and lost hope because I couldn’t unlock the door. (For my full story, read my book, Your Past Does Not Define Your Future. You can get it at http://www.shepherdsvoice.com.ph/ I’m making an audio book and E-book of this same book very soon.)

One day, I had a powerful realization. I discovered that the door wasn’t locked—except in my mind. I realized that at any time, I could push hard and the door would swing open—and I could simply walk out. And stay out!

And that’s what I did.

My friend, you can get rid of your addictions.

Here’s the truth: 70% of people get rid of their own addictions on their own. You see, there is no ONE singular way to get out of an addiction. There are many ways to get rid of your destructive bad habits. (We will examine all these ways in awhile.)

But before I explain them, let me answer a very important question.

What Is An Addiction Anyway?

I try to avoid technical words (my brain freezes up), so let me share with you my simple definition of an addiction. It’s any action that (1) you do repeatedly, (2) can’t stop doing, and (3) that’s harmful to your life.

Let me tell you a story my golfing friends like to tell. They say golfers love their golf more than anything else in the world…

One day, two guys were playing golf on a sunny day. In the distance, they saw a funeral car pass by—with a train of cars following it.

One of the golfers stops playing. He bows his head for a moment of silence.
The other golfer was very impressed. He said to his golfing partner, “Wow, I didn’t know you’re religious.”

“Not really,” said the other golfer, resuming his putting. “After all, I was married to that woman for 28 years.”

There’s nothing wrong with golf. It’s a healthy sport. But that widower was clearly addicted to it.

All of us agree that alcoholism, drug addiction, and compulsive gambling are serious forms of addictions. But I’m sure that most of us reading this article don’t have these more obvious addictions. But what about hidden addictions? They too destroy our life and the lives of our loved ones…

Do You Have A Hidden Addiction?

CLICK HERE to read the rest of this article.

The Dad Who Brought Me Out For Pizza

Father Did Many Things, But I Will Always Remember Him As…
The Dad Who Brought Me Out For Pizza
By Bo Sanchez

My Dad is gone.

My hero. My mentor. Gone.

An hour before he died, I gently brushed my hand on his grey hair. I looked at his tired face, his wrinkled hands, the tubes attached to his arm—and something in me told me his time was up. He wanted to go home. I prayed a blessing on him. An hour later, he quietly died in his sleep.
Friends, this should have happened eleven years ago…

God Gave Him A Long Extension

Eleven years ago, my father was fixing a light bulb in our garage. He stood on a bench, reached for it, and lost his balance. He came crashing down, the back of his head hitting the concrete floor. We rushed him to the hospital. Soon, he lost control of his limbs. I can still vividly recall that scene when my father, a strong man, was coming down the steps with my two sisters almost carrying him down. He couldn’t move his legs anymore. Through brain scans, the doctors saw three blood clots in his brain. Soon, they said, he would die because of them. They performed two brain surgeries on him. He stayed in the ICU for three months. We almost lost him to severe pneumonia.

But miracle of miracles, he slowly recovered from the grip of death…

God granted him a second life.

To Teach Us To Love More

That was eleven years ago—And how I enjoyed those eleven years!

Yes, he could no longer work or serve the church or community. He could no longer talk clearly. Just garbled words. His eyesight became very bad. And the emotional center in his brain was also damaged, so he became erratic and sometimes acted like a child. He was a mere shadow of who he was.

But for those eleven years, it was so easy to make him smile. All I had to do was bring him out to a cheap Japanese restaurant. He loved his sashimi in wasabe sauce. During this period in his life, eating out with his family was the only thing that made him happy.

For eleven years, I embraced him everytime we met—something I didn’t do before his accident. For eleven years, I always said, “I love you, Dad”. For eleven years, I was in charge of cutting his fingernails and toenails—something I loved to do (and would miss doing.)

I believe one of the reasons why God extended his life for eleven years more was so that we could learn how to love more. That was his last assignment from above.

And then it was time to say good-bye…

His Last Breath

Two weeks, Mom noticed he was getting weaker. She said that he had a hard time climbing the stairs to the Light of Jesus Community Prayer Room right beside his home—a place he frequented twice a day, morning and evening. (For the past 20 years, the Blessed Sacrament has been exposed there, 24 hours a day, and Dad and Mom were up there communing with God each day.)

Seven days ago, because of this growing weakness, he fell on his way up his bedroom, his forehead crashing on the wooden steps. A doctor from the community came to suture his deep wound—12 stitches in all. He went through two brain scans but doctors only saw an old blood clot from eleven years ago. Still, as each day progressed, we observed he was getting weaker.
Four days ago, he could hardly get up from his bed.

When we brought him to the hospital the two days ago, he slept most of the time.

And this morning, an hour after midnight, he breathed his last.

Dad was 88 years old.

Would You Follow A 13-Year Old Boy?

Oh, there are many things that I could say of my father.

For example, for 16 years, Dad served in the Light of Jesus Community as one of the Elders, until his accident forced him to resign.

And whatever group Dad joined, whether it was the Homeowners Association or the Parish Council, he’d always be chosen as the Treasurer. Because he looked so honest. And he truly was. Because of this, he also took care of the finances of our Community. He labored that every single centavo be accounted for. (I believe the reason why we remain strong to this day was because our finances have been above reproach—a legacy he leaves behind.)

More than all this, I believe he was one of the most humble men I knew.

Who among you would follow your 13-year-old boy?

Ever since I started preaching at 13, he sat at the audience listening to me preach. And when we founded Light of Jesus Community when I was but 14, he agreed that I become its Presiding Elder and he only one of its Elders. Though Dad was still the leader in the home, he followed my leadership in community. Dad was Assistant Vice President of San Miguel Corporation and held an MBA degree from the University of the Philippines. Why would he follow his little boy? But he did so because he believed that God anointed me to lead.

All through theses years, he was content in his role as my main supporter.

I remember one day, he pulled me aside and said, “Bo, you have a gift of proclaiming God’s Word. I don’t have that gift. I wish I had it. If I had it, I would preach everyday. Bo, you have that gift. Use it. Use it everyday.”

When I was young, I had crazy ideas. One day, I told the Community to surrender their attachments to God. So in one prayer meeting, people surrendered their jewellery, clothes, and TV sets to God. Dad gave up our sala set, the most beautiful furniture we had, sold it and gave the proceeds to the Community. Yes, no matter how crazy my ideas were, he supported me.

He Brought Me Out To Pizza

But if you were to ask me what I most remember Dad for, I will say, “He brought me out for pizza.”

Dad spent enormous time with me.

Each day, when I was a young boy, we’d jog together. He wasn’t a great jogger mind you. All he did was jog around his car a few times. After the jog, he’d sit down and I’d sit on his lap—and we’d read the paper together. Not the front page, or the business section, or the sports page—but the comics page. He’d read it for me and explain why it was funny. Every single day. As a boy, I remember looking forward to spending time with him each night.

And every Saturday afternoon, he’d say, “Bo, let’s go out”. We’d go for a pizza. A hotdog-on-a-stick. A bag of peanuts. An ice cream cone. We’d also go to a toy store, play with the toys together without buying a single thing. I didn’t mind. My hands may have been empty but my heart was filled with Dad’s love.

He knew I loved pizza.

So when Shakeys opened for the first time in the Philippines, he said he’d bring me there. The problem was that it opened in faraway Angeles, Pampangga. But to him, that was no problem at all. He drove me there just so that I could eat pizza.

It’s true. At the end of one’s life, you’re not remembered by your great achievements. The house you built. The job you had. The money you earned.

At the end of your life, you’ll be remembered by how you loved in small ways. Whether you brought your son for pizza or not.

My father did.

I remain your friend,

Bo Sanchez

PS. Here’s a letter I wrote to Dad.

Dad, I’ll miss you.
I’ll miss cutting your fingernails and toenails.
I’ll miss our hugs together.
Dad, thank you for loving me in the way only you could have done.
You supported me in my work as a Preacher and Leader. No matter how crazy my ideas were, you were there behind me. Thank you for believing in me so much.
Dad, thank you for spending time with me when I was a little boy.
Thank you for letting me sit on your lap, reading the Comics page for me each night. Thank you for bringing me to the toy store. Thank you for the hotdog. The ice cream cone. The pizza.
Hey, you're back. The man before the accident. This time, perfected.
You can see beautifully again. All the colors, the beauty, the brightness.
You can talk clearly again—no longer the jumbled words you spoke for 11 years.
You can work again. (Do they need your accounting skills there?)
You can jog again.
Welcome back Dad.
I love you!

How Radical Is Your Love? A Day In Assisi

By Bo Sanchez (www.kerygmafamily.com)

I love Assisi. It’s simply gorgeous. But I guess you know that I’m biased. (More on this later.)

It’s a 2000-year old Roman city atop a hill, with winding cobbled roads and fortress walls. But it was St. Francis and St. Claire that has made this place extremely special some 800 years ago.

If you’ve been reading my books, you’d know that Francis has such a tremendous impact on my life. Because I was 13 years old when I read his biography, and my life has never been the same. Instantly, I wanted to pray like him, dress like him, sing like him, and serve the poor like him.

After reading his life story, I gave away my clothes to the poor, and welcomed street kids and abandoned elderly people at home—giving my mother one terrible headache after another. I also tried to mimic his “beggar look”, which didn’t make me very popular with girls, but I figured that was the idea. (I called it an anti-attraction device. As if I needed it.)

In the meantime, I lived and served in the slums. Like Francis, I preached in the streets, befriending bums, addicts, gamblers, and alcoholics. I will never forget living in a tiny room with 9 people, sharing a muddy toilet with four other families.

Eighteen years later, with my friends who also loved Francis, we built Anawim, a home for the abandoned elderly built on a 5-hectare property. I lived there with the poor for three whole years, until I finally got married. We named our Anawim chapel St. Francis of Assisi Chapel, and his brown statue is on the left side of the altar.

As you can see, Francis turned my life upside down.

Visiting his hometown—where everything took place—felt like going home.

I prayed at the tiny chapel that he built with his own hands, after he heard God tell him, “Rebuild my Church”. (Much later, Francis realized that God wasn’t referring to the tiny, rundown chapel—but the people themselves.)

Can you imagine?

Francis changed my life—and the lives of countless others who fell in love with God because of him.

One simple life, lived radically, can bless the world.

Friend, your life can do the same. By the way you live, you can change the lives of many people.

But you need to live radically.

Unless you do, nothing much will happen.

Ask yourself: How radical is my love?

To Succeed In Life, You Need To Use Your Failures

From Pisa To Sienna To Assisi
By Bo Sanchez (from www.kerygmafamily.com)

From our hotel, the leaning tower of Pisa was a stone's throw away. It was utterly beautiful; I kept walking to it just to stare at it one more time.

As a child, I loved reading about the leaning tower of Pisa.

It was an odd monument. It was so unique, Leonardo da Vinci used it for his experiments on the law of gravity.

And there it was, right in front of me, in all its failed glory.

Because that’s what it was: A giant failure of the grandest proportion. This cathedral bell tower built 700 years ago began “sinking” on one side a few millimeters each year, causing it to lean. Efforts to repair the tower’s foundation were also dismal failures—the tower kept on leaning on its side.

Friends, I can imagine how many sleepless nights the leaning tower gave its builders, architects, designers, owners, contractors, and engineers down through the centuries. When you think about it, the tower was one failure after failure after another failure.

But precisely because of this failure, it has become a phenomenal success. Because of its oddity, for centuries now, millions of tourists have visited her—making Pisa a very prosperous city. If the tower didn’t “fail” and instead stood straight, it would just be one of the many bell towers in Italy—nothing special at all.

Lesson? I’m sure you have already failed many times in many areas of your life: Family failures, job failures, spiritual failures…

Friend, if you want to be a great success, don’t avoid failures. Instead, use them. When you’re able to use your failures, you bless the world with your unique gift.

As a child, I was sexually molested. As I grew up, I developed a sex addiction. I wish these tragedies never happened to me. But God has healed these wounds. And today, I’ve used these failures to bless the world. I allow my wounds to heal others who have also been abused. I preach about my experience, and written this part of my life in a book (entitled, Your Past Does Not Define Your Future) which is blessing thousands.

From Pisa, we visited Sienna and prayed with St. Catherine. And as we walked out of the city, that was when we failed miserably: We got lost! Imagine 70 people walking around aimlessly in the city.

We lost 3 hours of our day being lost.

After asking for directions and a couple of phone calls, we finally packed a public bus to where our tourist bus was parked.

Great failure, right?

Yes and No.

Because as I told you, my pilgrims are pilgrims, not tourists.

One of our pilgrims was a Mother Superior of the Poor Claires. She was visibly tired walking. But I heard her say with a huge smile, “I will not let this—or anything else—destroy my day.”

Wow. What spunk. What spirit.

Everyone in the group used the failure of getting lost to chisel the character of Jesus in their souls.

We rode our bus with great delight.

After two hours of driving, it was already dark when we entered the enchanting town of Assisi—one of my most favorite spots on planet earth.

I’ll tell you more about it next time.

Find God In Unexpected Places

From Nice, France, To Pisa, Italy

By Bo Sanchez

This is ironic.

Because our pilgrim group was going to Rome, our bus had to pass the French Riviera and stay one night in Nice. Does that place ring a bell?

I don’t know about you, but I only hear “French Riviera” when I read about Hollywood stars taking vacations there. And right next to Nice is Monaco and Monte Carlo, very famous for its casinos, glamour, and Grand Prix racing.

From the French Riviera, we crossed the Italian border, and by late evening, we entered the old town of Pisa—and spent the night there too. Yes, the one with the famous leaning tower. (I’ll tell you all about it tomorrow.)

But as this was part of our road journey, we had to pass these “worldly places” and find God in them too. We could of course have taken a plane and “jumped” from one holy city to another. For example, we could have flown from Fatima and jumped to Lourdes, and from Lourdes hopped to Rome.

But that wouldn’t reflect real life.

Because human life consists of the sacred and the secular. Not everything we do is outwardly religious.

But here’s what I’ve realized: As we mature in our spirit, these boundaries blur. The mature Christian sees everything as sacred.

Why? Because God is everywhere.

Let me say something shocking here: A spiritually mature person is equally at home in her prayer meeting and doing her laundry; She is spiritually at home attending Holy Mass and shopping in a mall. Why? Because if God is her home, and if God is everywhere, then she is at home everywhere.

As heretical as this may sound, how does one know if a prayer meeting or Mass becomes “effective” in our lives? Only if they train our spiritual eyes to recognize the same Presence of God in other people, in nature, especially in the poor, and in ourselves.

Of course, someone could quote my words above out of context and say “Bo is telling us not to go to Mass anymore”. On the contrary, I believe it is our highest praise. But unless you’re a monk, you can’t stay in church 24 hours a day.

Friend, do you find God in your job? In the mall? In the gym? In the restaurant? In the movie house?

Concentration Camp survivor Victor Frankl talks about another woman in the prison with him who knew she was dying. She spoke about the one thing that gave her joy each day—a tree outside her window. It gave her so much comfort. The woman said that she spoke to the tree each day—and the tree spoke to her. She said that before her days in prison, she never had the time to see how beautiful something as simple as a tree is. It was God’s Presence, God smiling at her.

Friend, you and I are so busy, we no longer see God in the simplest things. But if we look deeply, in these simple things, we see God smiling at us.

So smile. He is smiling at you.

"Is Your Lamp Lighted?"

My Friend Emy Serafica Preaches To Me One Last Time

By Bo Sanchez

When I was 14 years old, I led the first ever prayer meeting of the Light of Jesus Community. My family was there, and so were twenty other people. Looking back, it was pretty comic. Why would a bunch of grown-ups follow a kid in a crummy tee shirt, jogging pants, and sandals? Especially a kid who watched Voltes V and even memorized its theme song? But that was what happened.

A few weekly prayer meetings more, Emy Serafica walked through the door for the first time. A tall, lanky fellow with a strong chin and broad smile, he looked like a 70’s actor. Not matinee idol material, but those guys with character roles. Like he could be the buddy of the main star or something like that.

We learned that Emy was a natural leader. A salesman by profession, he was also an eloquent speaker and read the Bible like crazy. Soon, Emy became one of our “Elders”. I shared the pulpit with him and people enjoyed his preaching. If you’re my age, and you caught Jimmy Swaggart preach on TV, that was Emy’s preaching style. Fiery, dramatic, and powerful.

I remember something unique about his talks: They usually had three main points.

I personally enjoyed listening to him preach.

Though I was still his leader, Emy preached better than me. Naturally, my mother will object to that statement with the violence of a volcano erupting after 900 years of dormancy. But I really think he preached better than me at that stage because he was much older (he was 32 and I was 15) and more experienced.

When I turned 18 years old, I stopped studying and worked full-time for the community. And so did Emy. (Just as a side note, in case there are kids reading this who might get funny ideas, I eventually went back to college and finished my Philosophy degree and even took up Masters in Theology.)

The community rented an apartment as an office. To work more closely together, Emy and his wife Lydia moved next door and made it their home.

Yes, Emy and I were not only co-leaders, he was my dear friend. I remember the many nights we swapped stories, we debated about the Bible, and we shared dreams together.

As the years went by, Light of Jesus grew in number, and I asked Emy to lead one of our 5 sub-groups.

One day, at the end of a leader’s retreat, we had a commitment ceremony.

Before it began, Emy called me to a corner of the room and asked, “Bo, is this a commitment to the community or to God? What if God calls me elsewhere?” I told him that it was a commitment first of all to God, but it was also a commitment to community “as long as God tells you to stay here.” He thanked me and joined the commitment ceremony.

But deep inside, I already knew he wasn’t going to stay long.

True enough, a few months after, he asked me if we could chat.

He said he felt God was leading him to leave the community. He was also bringing with him twenty members of his sub-group to form a protestant church.

Leaving the community was one thing. But I was shocked that he was taking along my members—my friends! And I was doubly shocked that they were leaving the Catholic Church.

I felt numb. But I still wished him the best.

A few days after, I stood in front of our entire community of over 100 people and I had to break the agonizing news to them. I was 21 years old at that time and life didn’t prepare me for announcements like this.

“One of our Elders, Emy Serafica, is leaving the community,” I said, pausing amidst gasps of shock around me, “and twenty of our members are joining him. They’re forming a new protestant church…”

People couldn’t believe the news. And I understood what they were feeling. How could this happen to our little, cozy, tight, loving group? People began to sob right in front of me. Friendships were torn. Even some families were divided. Spasms of pain rippled through that crowd.

But I asked everyone to pray for blessings for them and to love them as our brothers and sisters in Christ. I asked them to greet them and to talk to them.

A week later, I decided to visit Emy in his new church.

His members were there—our former members. They were excited and happy, sweeping and cleaning their new rented hall that was to be their church.

I told them that even if we weren’t anymore in one group or even in the Catholic Church, we’d always be friends. We ended by praying together, hugging each other.

I became busy and I lost contact with Emy for many years.

In the meantime, the Light of Jesus community went about their work for God. We grew by leaps and bounds, expanding to different ministries and territories.

Fourteen long years later, I met his wife Lydia. She came to see me to sell life insurance. After buying a plan from her, I asked her, “How’s Emy doing?”“

Many years ago, our church disbanded. Emy is back as a salesman. He’s no longer preaching, Bo.”

Instantly, I felt as though a knife stabbed my chest. I’m a preacher and I knew what Emy was feeling. For a preacher not to preach anymore is like an old lamp left in a dark corner, unlighted, collecting dust and rust, never used. I felt sad for such a wasted gift. Emy was such a good preacher.

I told her it would be great to see Emy again.

And a few weeks later, Emy and I met finally. After so many years. He had more white hair but his smile was as broad as ever. We hugged each other for a long time.

And in expressions deeper than any words can ever say, we forgave each other for the pain of the past.

As we talked and laughed together, I couldn’t help but think. I wondered what would have happened if he didn’t leave. Would he still be my partner-in-ministry to this day, preaching God’s Word? And would I still be personally enjoying and benefiting from his preaching? I brushed these thoughts aside.

But it was he who brought up a desire to serve again.

“Bo, I have these things I’ve written—nothing doctrinal, I assure you. Do you think it can be published?”

“Let me have a look at it,” I said. But he never gave it to me.

As months went by, Lydia would attend our prayer meetings, and once or twice, Emy would join her. I would bump into him at different times. I’m not sure of this, but I felt that he was carrying a sense of regret or shame in him. Deep down, I felt he still wanted to go back and serve God through preaching again.

A few weeks ago, I heard the news.Emy Serafica had a massive heart attack. My friend was gone at the young age of 57.

I visited his wake and asked his wife the one burning question in my mind, “Lydia, did Emy ever preach again?”

“A few months ago, he was invited by a small prayer group. Yes, he preached again. He gave them four talks, one for each month.”

I smiled. The lamp was taken out of the darkness, dusted, cleaned, polished, and lighted again.

I will miss that broad smile of Emy. I will miss his preaching. Too bad I wasn’t there to listen to his last talks.

But then it struck me. Emy did preach to me one last time.And he did it through his death.

And like the Emy I used to know, he preached three major points to me…

The First Point: Life is very short.

The Second Point: Conflicts, divisions, fights—the deepest and most hurting—don’t matter at death. They cease to exist. From the perspective of eternity, all conflicts and fights are petty. They’re washed away by time. One step after death’s door, we’ll all be laughing with our enemies—laughing at how petty we were.

I’m thankful that before Emy stepped in death’s door, we were able to have that laugh this side of earth.

The Third Point: I realized that I don’t want to live a life of regret. Because life is very short, I will use my Lamp and light it until the last breath of my soul.

Friend, what is your lamp?

I believe God has given every human being a particular lamp. It’s the primary language of your soul. Some call it your Sacred Contract. Your core gift to the world.

For me it’s preaching. And writing. For others, it’s cooking, technology, business, singing, counselling…

You may be one of those who know what their lamp is.

Then there’s only one question left to ask. Is your lamp lighted?

DON’T BE AFRAID TO ASK

By Bo Sanchez (www.kerygmafamily.com)

“Ask, and it will be given to you.” – Matthew 7:7

Do you want french fries with that?

Pretty simple question.But because of that one single line, a burger chain adds $20 million to its annual profits each year. From one tiny question!

And if you order a Coke, the girl behind the counter has been trained to ask, “Large?”

Again, that second question adds millions and millions to their bottom line.

Don’t be afraid to ask.

Unless you learn to ask, you will never be successful in life.

Ask for advice. Ask for a date. Ask for a referral. Ask for a sale.

Salesmen know that if they ask 100 people to buy their product, only 10 say yes. Others get discouraged and look for another job. Top salesmen are energized and ask 1000 people—so 100 people will buy.

Because I run non-profit organizations that spend millions for the poor and the work of evangelization, I’ve learned to ask. That’s why the Kerygma Family which supports our work has expanded all over the world. (If you haven’t joined, please do so: Log onto http://www.kerygmafamily.com/. See, I’m asking again!)

Don’t be afraid to ask. Bo S.

REFLECTION:
Make a list of what you want in life. Start asking!

Because Husbands Aren’t Loving Enough

By Bo Sanchez

Two days ago, I had an ecumenical meeting with the Philippine President Gloria and various religious leaders in the country (even Muslim leaders).

That was where I spoke to Bishop Ruben Abante, the head of the Alliance of Baptist Churches in the Philippines. We were talking about how to solve the problems of the world. Shucks.

That was when Bishop Ruben gave me a word about families that blew my mind.
He said, “Brother Bo, the Bible says in Ephesians 5:25, ‘Husbands, love your wives, and wives submit to your husbands.’ Have you ever wondered why the Bible doesn’t say, ‘Wives, love your husbands?’” “

Why?” I asked.

The Bishop explained to me that the responsibility to love the family rests on the husband's shoulder. The wife and the kids are only to respond to that love. In the same way that the Bible says in 1 John 4:9 (my life verse) “We love because He first loved us,” we respond to God’s love for us.

That was powerful.

I began to reflect on all the broken families I’ve counselled through the past 28 years of my life. Most of them (not all) were broken because the father didn’t love enough. And as I reflect on all the broken people I’ve counselled, I can see the same pattern. In most of these individuals (again, not all), I see the lack of a loving father in that person’s life.

Fathers, you have a pivotal role in the life of your wife and children. You are to aggressively, assertively, deliberately love them—and they will respond.

But the good Bishop was not finished. He said, “Why didn’t God say, ‘Husbands, submit to your wife?’” “

Why?” I asked again.

He said that once that love is there, submission is the natural response. He asked, “Why is there so rebellion and disobedience among children today?” He explained that kids need to see their mother submit to their father as a model to follow. (We didn’t have time to talk about situations where the man of the house doesn’t love. Should the wife still submit? That difficult question I hope to answer it in another article.)

But let me share with you my experience.

I love my wife. I do it aggressively, assertively, and deliberately.

And she submits to my leadership. I have a vision for the family and I’m bringing my family to that vision—and she supports me.

But what does that mean in daily life?

That I’m king and she’s my slave?

Gosh, you should visit my home.

Because I love her, I want to serve her. And because she follows already my general direction, I realize that 90% of life’s decisions are about the trivial stuff. Because I love her, it’s my joy to say, “Yes” to her. So in reality, I follow her 90% of the time! She isn’t my slave. She is the queen I pamper.

That, my friends, is marital headship-submission in daily life.

It is with this note that I greet you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

May your families be filled with love.

Husbands, take responsibility in filling your family with love.

Wives, support and submit to your husband.

And together, we can fill the world with God’s love.

I remain your friend,

Bo Sanchez

P.S.
In the year 2007, I want to help you with your family life. I know that www.kerygmafamily.com can help you. I will provide you with more practical teaching on how you can become a better husband or wife, father or mother. In fact, I’m excited that our weekly FEAST will be launched very soon, and you can receive these video talks. Through these weekly talks, you will receive nourishment for your spirit. If you haven’t signed up as a member of www.kerygmafamily.com, please do so and get ready to be blessed by a tidal wave of spiritual blessings for you and your family. Donations are totally optional. But if you decide to financially support our ministry of sharing God’s love to others, I’ll be mailing you a Christmas gift: my Life Dreams Success Journal (to help you write a vision for your life) and other surprise goodies as my way of saying “Thank You” for being my partner. Log on now!

YOU NEVER GRADUATE FROM LOVE’S ACADEMY

By Bo Sanchez

Carol was peeking through the window again.

Daily, she’d watch the sweet couple next-door, doing their morning ritual: Before the husband went off to work, he’d kiss his wife, give her a hug, and declare to her, “I love you!” for all the world to hear. Each morning, Carol saw this sight, and every time, her heart was filled with envy.

Finally, one day, she couldn’t take it anymore.

So Carol confronted her husband Pete. “Why can’t you be like our next-door neighbor?” She pulled the curtain for him to take a look. “See? This man kisses his wife, embraces her, and says, ‘I love you!’ every morning. Every Morning! Why can’t you do that?”

Pete’s face was pale. “Honey, I can’t do that!”

“Why?” Carol asked angrily.

“Why, Honey, I… I don’t even know that woman!”

“Sheeeeeesh. Pete, I’m not asking you to do it with that woman. I’m asking you to do it with me!”

“Oh…” he muttered blankly.

“Tell me that you love me again. I haven’t heard it in a long time now!”

Pete shrugged his shoulders. “Gee, Carol, I don’t know. I mean, I said, ‘I love you’ thirty years ago during our honeymoon. And I told you that if I changed my mind, I’d tell you. Well, I haven’t.”

By now, I think many wives reading this would like to throw a few cooking pans in the direction of Pete’s head.

Let me ask you a question. Why is it necessary for spouses to tell each other, “I love you” each day? I mean, can’t one ‘I love you’ be sufficient for the next thirty years?

This is the same principle that works for reading the Bible. Or from learning about God. (Huh?)

That’s right. As mushy as this may sound, the Bible is God’s love letter to you.

And so, in your daily “Scripture” time, you can’t say, “This is boring. I’ve read this story before”; or, “Oh no, today’s reading is the Prodigal Son again. Gosh, I’ve read this a million times; or, “The beatitudes? Again? I can recite that in my sleep!”

So what? You see, you’re forgetting one thing: Christianity isn’t just a religion. It’s primarily a relationship.

It’s a personal relationship where “I love you” is repeated for a million times.

The temptation among Christians is to look for the new, the esoteric, the higher learning, the advanced subjects with big words—thinking that they can graduate from the basics. Stuff like trust. Obedience. Humility. Faith. Surrender.

And God whispering, “I love you” in our hearts again and again and again.

If you feel like you can graduate from the basic stuff, I think you’re in the wrong religion.

Because this one has no graduates.

We remain students of love, forever.