By Bo Sanchez

Let me speak to married men this time.

One morning, let’s say you find your wife in bed with tears in her eyes. When you ask her why, she mumbles, “I’m depressed.”

As a husband who has read the Bible, attended prayer meetings, and was now active in the parish, the temptation at this point is to love her with your mind. “What? How could you be depressed?” You shake your head in dismay. “Sweetheart, you’re not yet spiritually mature! Trust God! Follow Proverbs 3:5 and you won’t be depressed! ‘Trust in Thy Lord with all thine heart, leaneth not on thine own understanding, in all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shalt direct thy paths!’”

If you are the wife, and your husband tells that to you, I’m giving you permission to say to him one of the most expressive words in our language: “Heh!!!”

Husbands, don’t love her with your mind.

Love her with your heart.

When she says, “I’m depressed,” do this: Put your arms around her, stroke her hair, and plant a kiss on her forehead. And then say, “It’s okay, hon. It’s okay. Can you tell me why you’re sad? I’m listening.”

Now imagine your wife says, “I’m depressed because this morning, I looked at the mirror, and I saw so many wrinkles on my face!” (Boo-hoo-hoo…)

Immediately, husbands, you’ll be tempted to love with your mind again. So you say, “That’s all? Darling, you’re vain!” you say with a preacher’s bombastic voice, “Where’s your spiritual maturity? Scripture says, ‘Seeketh thy treasure in heaven where thieves doth not break in and steal or moth destroy,’ and ‘Indeed we believeth that when this earthly tent of ours shall passeth away, we shall findeth a new home, a dwelling in the heavens, not made by human hands, but made by God to last forever!’”

Husbands, don’t love her with your mind.

Love with your heart.[1]

At this point, she doesn’t need a preacher. She needs a lover.

Cradle her in your arms again, and if you have a somewhat-tolerable voice, sing to her the love song of Steve Curtis Chapman, “I Will Be Here.” (If your voice chases away cats and dogs, just say the lyrics.)

“I will be here,
You can cry on my shoulder,
When the mirror tells us were older,
I will hold you,
I will be here,
To watch you grow in beauty…”

[1] There is only one time where you should love with your mind, and that’s during courtship. Think. Analyze. Evaluate. But once the wedding ceremony is over, the heart rules.

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