"KNOW YOUR DEEPEST DESIRES" by Bo Sanchez

When I was getting married, I cried, "Heeeeeeeeelp!" I wanted to call the Fire Brigade. The Marines! The SWAT team. Power Rangers! Batman and Robin. Lois and Clark! Jacky Chan. Anybody!

Why? Because I felt incredibly awkward.

To say, "I was getting married," was like as saying "I'm blonde" or I'm from Pluto" or "My nose is gorgeous." Because if you've been reading stuff I wrote a few years back, you'd probably recall these lines from me:

"My friends, I want to remain celibate for life. Will He give me the grace to remain so? I'm giving myself two years to pray for the blessing of celibacy. If I find it, and I really hope I do, I'll make a more permanent decision at that time..."

Well, that was written in December of 1995.

And I didn't find the grace. Sniffle.

I prayed for the gift of celibacy.

He gave me the gift of marriage instead. (Mom, don't cry too much. My son may be a bishop.)

In this whole discernment process about my future, I realized two important things about me.

1) I love being a lay preacher. I love it too much to give it up for a Roman collar and velvet stole and church altar. Preaching as a normal human being works too well for me.

2) My heart longs for a female companion too much, too often, too strongly. What can I say? I'm made for luv. (Oh no. I'm watching too many Meg Ryan movies.)

A friend of mine tells me that searching for the will of God "out there" is a big boo-boo. Because His will for us is in the depths of our hearts. We'll discover His plan for our lives in our DEEPEST DESIRES. (Still, it'll take prayer and time to find out what they are!) When God made us, He implanted within us a burning desire for His will. He'll never twist our arm and say, "Be a priest!" or "Be a nun!" or "Get married!" or "Be the Tom Cruise of the Philippines."

He won't force.

Because we'll simply desire His will.

Period.

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